Time Out

So, I know in my last post I talked about not apologizing for falling short, so I'm not going to. Just a little explanation to those who may have noticed.

So I started to feel guilty as Christmas completely snuck up on me this year because I hadn't done nearly all that I had planned or wanted to. Usually I do an immense amount of service to those that know and many that don't... Usually I pick out the PERFECT gift for all those on my list... usually I do so much MORE with the kids... but not this year.

This year I was sick... (Oh PS. did I mention that I'm pregnant and we're due to have a little boy in April... hmm.... oh well, now ya know!) This year I was tired... This year I was in bed MUCH more than I think I've ever been... This year was simple and not stressful, This year was WONDERFUL!

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE offering service... left right and center... it makes me feel so much more like one of Christ's disciples. I love knowing that someone's day was happier because I took a little time to think of them. I LOVE seeing my friends and family open that PERFECT gift... I love making gingerbread houses with the kids and teaching them all about Christmas...

But this year I did something I rarely do (at Christmas time or any other)... I had time to myself.

Most of our Christmas shopping I did online... and we did a big present for each of the kids and not much else, other than stockings and maybe a book or 2. I did a ton of baking (which I didn't end up giving to anyone because I didn't have time). I still was able to get a perfect gift for a few ppl... but I didn't go overboard... I snuggled my kids, got things done around the house... lots of naps... and it was great.

I felt guilty for not being there for a few of my friends when I really would have liked to serve them more... but then I realized that instead, I was there for myself and my family... and we really needed that this year.

This pregnancy has totally slowed me down... I haven't been able to do so much of what I usually do... but it's helped others to be able to serve me, it's helped me take time out for me, which I know I wouldn't have done otherwise.

It's made me realize there's a time and a season for all things... and right now, is time for me to take care of me and my family and make sure I'm healthy because unfortunately, I can't do all that I'd like to right now... but that's OK... I can serve and do all that I want to again soon... the Lord just granted me this little break to regroup and remember to take care of myself... and I'm grateful for that.

A Thankful Thursday

Well, thanksgiving was on Monday and all weekend/week I've been filled with gratitude. You all saw my last post on one particular friend who's just been amazing to me, and I am very blessed to have many others whom are just amazing and have helped me in so many ways. I'm also especially grateful for my wonderful husband. Saturday marked 6 incredible years of marriage for us. Sometimes I can't believe it's been that long, others I think "that's it?!". But yes, Canadian thanksgiving always marks another anniversary for us and I get my two favorite things (time with my hubby and turkey dinner!). (We also had turkey dinner at our wedding... and let me tell ya, those Hutterites know how it's done!)

Lately, I've just been looking at how blessed we are and how it's not fair that others seem to struggle so much, I mean we definitely have our trials and in just about every aspect of our lives... health, finances.. you name it it's been an up and down kinda journey, but when I look at where we are now, so young with so much, I just know the Lord is wanting us to share. I mean how can we not? Everything in this life is given to us from our Heavenly Father and we have a choice with what we do with it, but how can we not express such gratitude and humility by not giving back?

"Where much is given, much is required"

Ok, I'm totally being random with this post, I started out with the complete intention of just expressing my gratitude in this time of thanksgiving period. A little mush (sincere mush but mush nonetheless) about my family, friends, my husband, and all we are blessed with. Instead I find myself quoting scripture and feeling this intense desire to do more.

I know many of you may be thinking "well don't you own a charity?" Well... yes, BUT I've been really lazy lately. I've been tired (exhausted) and just not feeling quite like myself for the past little while, but is that really an excuse? There is so much to be done in the world, so very much to be done... how can I afford to be lazy? I mean, I've hardly done much work, hardly done much with the charity (the occasional tweet here and there and/or blog post.) I've hardly done much spiritual-wise. So how can I really be thankful? I know all well that all we have is from the Lord, but do I thank Him near enough? I thank Him for my "blessings" but that's like a catch-all. And why do we wait until Thanksgiving when the calendar tells us to give thanks before we do? Once I heard a talk where someone talked about a gratitude journal, where everyday they'd write what they were grateful for and they'd do all they could not to repeat themselves, thus causing them to become very specific in their thanks and causing them to see so many more blessings in their lives. Maybe I'll start that, end each post with an expression of gratitude... of course it would probably be more useful if I wrote more... (this is the third time in a week though!)

Also, I think I'm going to try each day to do one thing to make the world better. Whether it be bringing a special treat to a friend (that was today's) or actively furthering the progress of Child Rescue. I mean, what if God had said "I'm too tired today to answer your prayers... I'll get around to it someday"... I know I'm not as our Heavenly Father and that I am Human and we all have our shortcomings and that there is a time and a season for all things, but maybe if I push just a little harder, maybe if we all push just a little harder the world, or at least our tiny portion of it may be just that much better.

Enchanted with Entitlement

So the kids and I just finished watching the movie "Enchanted" and it got me thinking....
At the beginning, it starts out with the princess or I guess maiden... all happy and waiting for her prince to come and for them to share in "Love's true kiss". And of course, he comes, sweeps her off her feet (literally) and then says "We shall be married in the morning". So naturally, I scoffed at this and was like "oh right, we meet and are married in the morning and will live happily ever after". And then the movie goes on and the queen casts her to NYC and there she meets Robert who teaches her about the reality of life and she teaches him of course of happily ever afters and they end up in love and together and then Robert's girlfriend ends up with Prince Edward. So what had me thinking was the ending, when it showed Robert's girlfriend and the Prince getting married. This led me to thinking of a simpler time when roles were clearly defined and people knew what they had to do to make life work.

Now just so we are ALL CLEAR... I am a working mom who LOVES her work, and I totally understand the necessities of working and the importance of being with your family and that we live in the 21st century... this is just a train of thought that I am sharing with you!

Now... when the movie ended, I thought now they'll get married and have kids and live happily ever after. And we all know that "Happily Ever After" is relative... that one person's H.E.A might not be yours and there are different ways to define it. But I started to think... they'll have kids, she'll be the nurturer, he'll be the provider and they'll live that life. But wait a minute... why are there so many issues with THAT life? I am striving to live THAT life but still find myself longing for more.... why is that?

I mean, THAT life has worked for years and years and years... and then all of a sudden we decided it didn't and all hell broke loose! What I am referring to (in case you haven't realized) is the Women's Movement. Now HOLD ON! And stop badmouthing me under your breath! I'm not saying the Women's movement was bad.. lotsa good came out of it... changes of laws on reproductive rights, domestic violence, maternity leave, equal pay, voting rights, sexual harassment etc. etc. What I'm referring to is the change in attitude that came from this.

All of a sudden, being a mom and caring for your kids and being the person to kiss all their boo-boos and teach them right from wrong, and taking care of your family and their health and their needs failed to be enough. Women wanted MORE... they wanted to be seen as the men (and I believe we are equal in every way), they wanted to be out there proving their worth instead of caged up in a house with their offspring all day. (I Am Woman Hear Me ROAR!) Now, this is what I see as a negative. Yes we are equal, I believe that! But that doesn't mean we have to pull the "anything you can do I can do better" thing. There is something special and quite noble about a woman who can truly find joy in loving, caring for and raising her family. (Now I am one of those who strives for MORE... I wish I didn't and am working towards finding true happiness and contentment in my primary role as a mother).

So my thoughts had led me to thinking of the past... thinking of that simpler time, when men worked hard to provide for and take care of their family, and when women where nurturing and loving and happy. (Not JUST happy to stay at home... but just overall... HAPPY!)

Ok, so like I mentioned before, I work and LOVE what I do. I am also a stay at home mom and am proud of it! I love my kids and I LOVE being the one who is there for them and who gets to see every side of them and watch them grow on a daily.. hourly.. second-by second basis!

Back to that simpler time... Roles were clearly defined, everyone knew what they did to make life work and it worked. Where they happy? Honestly? I think they were!

I picture a family where the husband gets up to go to work and the wife is there by his side, helping to make his morning easier. I picture that wife ironing his shirt (I HATE IRONING.... just a side-note) and I picture the husband giving her an appreciative kiss as he takes his shirt and buttons up his boots and gets ready for the morning. I picture the wife lovingly making him a hearty homemade breakfast that will help him to have the energy to go about his daily labours. I see their children waking up and doing some chores and having breakfast and I see them getting ready for school or other chores. I see them as a family seeing their father off and telling them they love him as he heads off to work. I see the Mother then helping the children finish getting ready for school and what not and singing a happy little tune as she tidies the kitchen and gets on with her day. I picture the mother cleaning and cooking and tending to their home which is her sanctuary and because of all of her diligence and hard work in making it beautiful and a haven, I see her enjoying it. I see the mother after a busy morning and some chores, reading a book in the afternoon or taking a nap. I see her getting dinner started and her husband coming home from a very busy day and helping set the table. I see the father playing with the kids and asking them about their days. I see the family sitting down for dinner and enjoying each others' company. I see the family kneeling in prayer at the end of the day to offer gratitude to their Father in Heaven for all that they have been blessed with... and aren't they blessed?

OK... now I know some if not MANY of you will tell me that I'm delusional and that's not how life is... that the kids will fight, the parents will fight, the house will be a mess and they'll all be miserable! (ok maybe that's a bit much). I wonder though... how that wife felt. If she felt like she was missing out on a stressful busy day at the office, or if she enjoyed being at home in HER home with her family. I wonder if that husband felt that he was doing all the work and his wife should step up to the plate and do more. If they are truly happy (and I suspect they are). I don't think so.

I think the wife understands her worth and her value in the home. I think she understands the potential she has to influence her children and her family in ways that no secondary caregiver ever could. I think the husband respects and appreciates his wife. I think he knows how much she works to tend to their family and is truly grateful for her as his equal partner.

I think the children see their parents' love for one another and it makes them feel happy and secure. I think they see that their parents don't love every thing they are doing, but they do it happily because they absolutely love whom they are doing it for.

I don't believe every day is a day full of bliss and cheer. I believe many hardships will come to this family, but because they are so happy to be working together and for one another that these hardships will come and go and that this family will remain in tact... completely unshaken.

This family in my mind, was living in a sweet cottage in the prairies sometime in the late 1800s or early 1900s... not unlike Anne of Green Gables. But that doesn't mean that we can't have this family in our homes today.

I am well aware of the drastic changes in time since the picture I had in my head would have been a reality... but that doesn't mean that we can't still have the same spirit that this family had.

I understand that we have sports and school and dance and work and a million things to complicate such a simple life... but still, I wonder... why are we so unhappy? Depression rates are increasing and we seem to be less happy and less content. Why is this? (Just an interesting side-note... that study said that generations have been increasingly more depressed since those born in 1915... since the women's movement started in the 50s... those women born in 1915 would have been 35 at the time of the movement... I'm just saying is all). But why are we getting increasingly more depressed? Didn't women like the one in my little picture get sad or depressed? Didn't they have extremely difficult lives and hormonal imbalances?

My sister-in-law and I were talking about a similar subject not too long ago, she had read a book in which they talked about this. They talked about how women now a days are over thinking, that we are so educated (not a bad thing) that we over analyze. In the book, the author interviews some elderly women, and asked what they did when they got depressed... and the women replied "depressed? Oh honey, we had some hard times, but we just pulled up our socks and worked through it". (Now those may not be the exact words... but something quite similar.) The book went on to say how now a days, we basically diagnose ourselves with all sorts of problems (and I'm not saying chemical depression is just a myth or anything.. trust me I know it isn't) when they just didn't have time or maybe even the knowledge of/for such things.

Now I really hope I didn't totally butcher that book but it made me think, why isn't it enough? Why do we always long for more? Why can't we be happy with what we have? Weren't they happy back then? Part of me wonders if it's that we now feel entitled to soo much. We should work too!(as if being a stay at home mom isn't loads and loads of work and I understand needing to work), We should have a bigger house, We should have a nicer car, We should etc. etc. But is that it? Do we feel entitled to so much that we lose sight of what we do have... and what is so quickly slipping away from us?

And to tell you the truth... this is where my thought process ends... I have no idea why we're so much unhappier as a society... more crime? more murder? would happier homes and families change that? Would a simpler life change that? I don't know... do you?

A Day Of Rememberance

So today we took our kids to the war museum here in Calgary in honor of remembrance day. We taught them about the poppy and about their great grandpas who fought in the war. It was such a wonderful experience and the ceremony made me tear up. I am so grateful for those brave men who fought in those wars and their wonderful wives who supported them, and for all they gave up for their country and for our freedoms... some even their lives. I am grateful for those brave men and women who are fighting today, for their efforts in trying to make a difference. I love this country and am so proud to be called a Canadian. I feel so blessed to have been born and raised in such a free and peaceful country and love our American neighbors and in my case, family members and friends, and all they do as well to make this world a better and safer place. I can't imagine sending my son or husband away not knowing if they will come back or what will happen, but am so grateful for the strength and faith those men and women had then and so many still have today. Below are some pictures of Nick's Grandpa Bridge (look like someone you know?) He was a veteran and a wonderful man, and along with Nick's Grandpa Larsen who was also a veteran and amazing man, we are remembering them today.
Lest we forget.

Thoughts...

So I find myself on a friday evening reclining while watching Liar Liar with my laptop and a pint of Haagen Dazs Mayan Chocolate ice cream. Nixon's asleep, Liv's at her cousins for a sleepover and Nick's somewhere on the road between here and Edmonton returning from a business meeting. Now what do I do? I look around me and see my basement covered in food, toys and playdough, yet the urge to clean does not seem to manifest, no matter how much I say "I should...". I am quite behind with work and know that more is coming in the week, but still.... no urges. So, I do something that I frequently neglect and haven't done in some time... I blog. Now, what to blog about? Well, you've all seen my new blog design by now, and Yes, I do blogs as well as all that other stuff. I really love the way my blog turned out, it feels very.. ME! But this isn't my business blog, so enough about that. Lately I've been full of gratitude. I feel like I have so much and don't really deserve it. We have a beautiful home, a vehicle I LOVE, two happy, healthy children, a happy home, an amazing husband who is just so good to me despite my clear insanity and my amazing friends. I think that if I had to pick the 2 things that I was the most grateful for this year, it would be the gospel (even though I'm really not the best at living it to my fullest, but that's what progression is for right?) and for the people I have around me, both friends and family. My two closest friends, Kelly & Bree have been so good to me, they really are both just amazing women and I'm so happy to have them in my life, especially over this last year. I have so many other wonderful friends and really miss my close ones from Winnipeg & from childhood. As I reflect, I realize that this year has been an especially tough one. Despite my many blessings, I have had a rough time, figguring out post-partum depression that seemed to fester into I don't know what; stresses of managing a home, a business, partnering with some amazing women for another business, the guilt of my businesses, being a good mommy, wifey and friend and who knows what else! But looking back, all I can say is that I survived! And that survival was in large part to my best friends. They made me smile and talked me through a whole lot of issues, they took my kids, they threw parties, they let me vent, stress and cry. But most importantly, they let me just be me, and didn't judge me one bit for doing so. To them I am unbelievably and forever grateful. I know the Lord had a special plan when he put those women in my path, they are exactly what I need and combined with my wonderful Husband, they keep me going. I love them, I love Nick, I love my sweet little babies and I am truly grateful for the peace and joy I have been feeling recently.